Moving On

So I guess the time has come to move on – forward that is, not backward. I have given so much but perhaps it is not enough. I guess it will never be enough. What is enough anyway and who decide if it is enough or not? Here, right at this moment, let me decide what enough for me is. And honestly said, this is it – this is enough. Do you get what I am trying to say? I hope you do. But even if you don’t, it is allright.

I am not saying that you have to tell me that I have done enough – it is not that. But at least, I would really appreciate it if you can show some appreciation. Some words of love. Some positive reception of what I have done. And for the past few years, all that I have done is for you! Only you. You become my life. Become all that I can think of.

Don’t misunderstand me. Whatever I did, I did it with a happy heart. It is something I chooses to do. A path I choose to travel on. And I know it is not only me who is giving, you have given me so much too. That is why I thought we are in such a comfortable situation. We know each other well. I know you well but I realised now that you don’t know me at all.

You should know that you can’t just keep me between your 4 walls and expect me not to care whatever that is happening on the outside world. You should know that I am not only going to be disturbed by the wrongs that is happening at our own backyard and just ignore wrongs happening at our neighbours backyard. Or front yard, for that matter. Or even at a stranger’s place. You should know me better. You should know that all these are equally important to me. After all, I am the way I am because of you.

Pune

I am only in Pune for 1 day 1 night - didnt see much of it. It doesnt seem like an interesting town anyway but wish I had been there at least a day longer, to explore more. Osho Ashram is located in this town at the serene posh area of Koregaon Park.

Carrying the past

I feel that there are so many things I carried from the past. How I wish I could just leave it all somewhere. Just once, leave it and perhaps, forget about it as well. 

But where? I couldn’t find a right place just yet. Forget right, I couldn’t even find a place at all to start with.

And it is not that Im happy carrying the past around but I don’t have a choice really. Or is it really? Maybe the choice is just there but me being myself – I couldn’t see it? Could it be?

Just like how I couldn’t see a lot of other things within me.

The Joy of Baking Breads

I dont usually enjoy baking, actually. I prefer cooking - throw a few things here and there into the pot and voila! Its way much easier cos to be honest, I'm a lazy cook :P Baking is a tad-bit more technical, you got to get the measurement right and all that stuff and sometime i just cant be bothered.

But I tried my hands at baking bread again the other day and now I am kind of addicted - cant stop baking!! I come to realise that it is not that difficult actually. I got the basic recipe in my head and just add stuffs according to my and/or my housemates like - one day its olive, the next cashew then mixed herbs etc.

The other night, me and Shieko stared at the hot bread just taken out of the oven for nearly 5 minutes before we cut the bread and dip it into olive oil and tarragon vinegar. Temme was sleeping, otherwise I'm sure she would be joining the staring-at-the-hot-bread team as well. And of cos, the dipping part too :)

Ahh..what joy!! <3

Goa

I was in Goa mid-January this year. The first city in India I travelled to. What do I love about Goa? Hmm... everything really. What is there not to love about Goa!?!

• beautiful beaches and their flea markets
• to hippy-filled Saturday Night Market - i missed my friends the most when i was here...the place is so fun!
• 7 hours of pool game - the Tibetan waiter at the cafe was really impressed with my patience :P
• riding motorcycle cutting across remote villages of Goa at 2am - freaking cold but i loved it!
• walking around town by myself - so damn peaceful
• followed a group of community women protesting against basic foods price-hike :)
• watch 2 Bollywood movies - Dhobi Ghat & No One Killed Jessica - both are awesome!!

I was there for 7 days.Cant wait to go back!

Within

Sometimes i think i don’t see into myself enough. That is why perhaps i missed out on the little details that actually not so little if you really look into it properly. On a silent day, when i just close my eyes and try to see the images flowing in my mind – i can hardly see anything. Even with eyes closed, I would still see the things outside. Somehow that seems more relevant to me. Not more important but relevant. And then, the things within just got swipe aside. Further inside.

Polymer Clay

When I was in London, living a different life, I used to love playing with polymer clay - the vibrant colours, the texture. I do still love it, but just couldnt find the time to enjoy such luxury now, plus its kind of expensive to buy the clay here anyway. These are pics of some of the things I made earlier.

Writing Again

I don’t remember if I like writing or not. But I remember when an article of mine was published in some teenage educational magazine many moons ago; everyone I know at school was excited. I remember my English teacher asked me to read the article out loud in front of the class. I remember friends congratulating me and saying how much they enjoy reading my that one (and only, mind you) article.

I didn’t write anything else ever since. I don’t know why. Sometimes there is so much in my head that I wanted to put into words, but somehow it didn’t happen. When I talk about stuffs with my sister, she often said “Hey, you should write that down!! Write a book or something”. But then I always think – yeah I can talk but I cannot write. I just don’t know how to do it.

Then I met this friend, who is a writer. At first I always ignored him when he tried talking to me. I don’t find him that interesting, you see. But looking back, I guess I never given him the chance to be interesting enough for me.

One day we started talking and I am hooked. We talk about everything under the sun and it amazed me how our thoughts are so much alike. It is scary sometimes when you find someone so similar to you, especially when you are not that good with yourself – if you know what I mean.

This friend always talks about his ideas, his writing, his readings. Somehow, it kind of makes me wants to write again. Write something. Write anything really. So then, I start to write again. Poem. I did write a couple of poems in between of that one article and now. Again, that was ages ago when I was still in law school. Again, don’t ask me why I stopped. I simply don’t know.

So after a long long time, I put words in my head into the blank white screen on my laptop. One by one, I moulded the words and a poem came into existence. And one after another, I continue to write more.

I must say, I kind of liking it now. So, let’s see J

Kuching

My 1st trip ever to Borneo - Oct 2010. Kuching is a nice friendly little town but can be a bit boring, in my opinion.

Phnom Pehn

June 2010

Istanbul

early November 2009. took a trip to Istanbul from Sevilla before heading back to Kuala Lumpur. Till date, Istanbul still remains one of my fav city of all time!!

Sevilla

Taken sometime in end of Oct 2009. Look at the colour of the sky!